“Then the way you live will always honor and please the Lord, and your lives will produce every kind of good fruit. All the while, you will grow as you learn to know God better and better.”— Colossians 1:10 (NLT)

Being more like Jesus is a growth process. It takes time. My goal should not be to be perfect in God’s eyes. That is unattainable. However, I can strive to make progress each day, especially in the areas in which I know I am weak. 

He matures us for service opportunities. With my first book, Widowed and Young, He needed to strengthen and mature my faith before it could be published. I needed the tools to empower me to succeed. When I was receiving one rejection letter after another, I was discouraged. In the moment I was unable to see why things were happening as they did, but as I look back, I can understand why I had that waiting period.

I have recently been looking into republishing the book as an E-book. As I have read through the manuscript that was written nearly 26 years ago, I am able to see how much I have grown spiritually. That is a good thing. 

It brought back memories of when I attended my very first Bible study. It had been a year since my first husband’s death. I felt like I was ready to take the next step to learn more about the Bible with other people. It was at a church I did not attend but was walking distance from my home and….FREE childcare for 2 hours! 

I had no idea which study to sign-up for, so I picked one on prayer. I thought that would be a good place to start. Um….where was Google back then??? The book was E.M. Bounds on Prayer. Had I been able to do some prior research, I would have known this was not a good first-time study. 

There were probably about 10 women, all with their Bibles ready to go. While I had my Bible, I was still having to go to the Table of Contents to find where the books were. I felt so out-of-place. In my eyes, these women had all obviously grown up in the church and knew their Bible. I would pray, Lord, please don’t have them ask me to read. I can’t pronounce some of those names. No one else needs to go to the front of their Bibles. I can’t do this. I was so focused on my feelings of inadequacy; I couldn’t focus on the study.

During this time in my life, any time I would be part of a new group, I would have anxiety. I knew at some point I was going to have to tell my story, but when? After our 2nd  or 3rd  meeting, I was either asked to read or for some input. I broke down and I cried as I told them, I don’t think I belong in this study. This is my first Bible study EVER. I have no idea what you are talking about. My husband died last year, and I am just wanting to learn more about Jesus. I am sure they had no idea those words were going to come spilling out of my mouth.

Even though I considered myself a follower of Christ, I still had some preconceived notions about Christians. I thought for sure they would agree that I didn’t belong in their group, but they didn’t. They did all acknowledge it probably wasn’t the best first-time study for me, but they loved on me and accepted me where I was. They encouraged me and helped me on my spiritual journey. That is loving like Jesus. They didn’t judge like I thought they would. A lesson I will never forget. 

You see, had I not been honest and continued to compare myself to those other women, it would have hindered my spiritual growth. In fact, I probably would have dropped out and quit going. God has an individual plan for each and every one of us. He knows our past life experiences, pain, and disappointments. He can use all of them reveal Himself to us on our spiritual journey. The enemy wants us to give up but God blesses us anytime we are trying to learn about Him and His Word.

As long as I am still breathing, I will always be growing and maturing spiritually. I can’t ever be mature enough because there is always something new for me to learn about who God is.  The more I grow and produce mature and Christ-like behavior, the more I will be able to share the light of Jesus and reflect His love. Do you know someone that might need some encouragement to attend a Bible study? Could you be a mentor to someone that is wanting to learn more about Jesus and the Bible?

Dear Lord,

Thank You for Your patience as I mature in my faith walk. Reveal to me areas of my life where I can grow. No matter my age, help me to seek You and get to know You more and more each and every day that you give me. I give You thanks for all of my sisters in Christ that have helped me along the way .Despite where I am on my journey, I give You praise that you are able to use me to shine light in our dark world. Reveal to me someone that I can point to You. It is in the name of Jesus that I pray these things. Amen. 

June Memory Verse

I need this reminder in 2 Corinthians, so continue to work on imprinting it on my heart.

“It is not that we think we are qualified to do anything on our own. Our qualification comes from God.” –2 Corinthians 3:5 (NLT) 

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