“Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of a friend springs from their heartfelt advice.”—Proverbs 27:9
I love how God works when I think I know what I am going to write about for the week. I thought the topic would have to do with the enemy’s tactic of guilt and doubt. While those were tools he was using to attack my soul, it was my friendships that helped me to refocus this week.
I went to visit my mother on Monday/Tuesday last week. It was a tough visit. I knew from doing my research on Alzheimer’s there would come a point where the disease would progress to where it is today. Knowing it will happen and experiencing it are two separate things.
She went from being able to get around with her walker in January to being in a wheelchair. When I went to find her at her facility on Monday, she was slumped over in her chair with her head on the table sleeping. Her hair was as a mess as well as not having on a lick of makeup. At the very least, she would usually have her eyebrows drawn on. I couldn’t get her to wake-up or open her eyes for any length of time.
She is very restless and afraid to go asleep. It results in her being exhausted and sleeping most of the day. The doctor has tried melatonin and sleeping pills. We even hired a caregiver to help her get to sleep. None of these things have helped. The insomnia has caused multiple falls as well.
This week, when I met with her nurse, she asked if I was opposed to talking about hospice. She explained that hospice isn’t what it used to be. Now it isn’t only for end of life but also about helping someone keep their dignity as well as the spiritual aspect of it.
I know my mom is at the point where she doesn’t care what she looks like, but we know she would be mortified to be looking like she is. Hospice will have someone come 5 days a week to help get her ready for the day the way she would have normally done.
I asked the nurse to narrow down a list for me to interview of hospices that worked well with her and the facility. We need a well-oiled machine so all the parts work together regarding communication.
I received the list Tuesday evening but didn’t start to address it until late Wednesday afternoon. I had talked to my neighbor twice about something and didn’t mention it to her since I hadn’t sat down to deal with it yet. I sent a group text that she is a part of asking for prayers for guidance for picking the right hospice for my mom.
Almost immediately after I sent that text she called me. She said, Lisa, we talked twice today, why didn’t you tell me about this? I told her, honestly, it is because I am just now sitting down to deal with it. Of course, I started crying and telling her how I was feeling guilty about moving her.
She quickly stopped me and said, Lisa, we are going to rebuke that. That is from the enemy. Your brother wanted your mom near him when she was ready for memory care. You needed a break. It was affecting your health. You should not feel guilty. You took good care of your mom while she was here.
She spoke the truth in love. A true friend will not be afraid to speak God’s truth in counsel pointing you back to Jesus. She gently guided me back to God’s truth. Her perspective helped redirect me.
She was right. I am blessed to have a family working together. My older brother and his wife were the ones for 15 years that took care of things for my mom. When it got to the point she could no longer live alone, we all agreed moving her closer to me would be best.
As the disease progressed and memory care was the next step, my other brother and his wife wanted her closer to them. The disease was going to progress to where it is now whether she was in memory care near me or near him.
The next day at lunch, I was sharing with a long-time friend. She shot me a text later that day telling me to stop feeling guilty reminding me (again) that I was at a breaking point when we moved my mom. Do you see how the enemy works? He knew I hadn’t really given it to God.
Friday morning, I received another text from a close friend. She knew I was interviewing hospices for my mom. She said, God laid it on her heart to pray with me and wanted to know if I would be available to talk in about an hour. After she prayed with me, I felt at peace where God seemed to be directing me with the hospice choice as well as no longer hanging on to feeling responsible for my mom’s decline.
Saturday morning my brother called me after the hospice nurse visit. He told me she was amazing. I could tell he felt good about bringing in hospice to help with her care. She qualifies for it because she has had so many falls.
While I thought this post was going to be about how the enemy will use guilt and doubt to attack your soul, it was how God used my sisters in Christ to love on me and pray for me. God didn’t create us to do life alone. The enemy wants us to isolate and not ask for support.
In His loving kindness, God provided me with friends and family to help lighten the load. Godly friendships are a balance of positive encouragement and honest feedback. I am blessed to have these loyal friendships who pray and petition on my behalf. I do the same for them as well.
Father God,
Forgive me when I listen to lies of the enemy. He is the father of deception. Thank You for godly friendships that point me back to You. What a blessing it is to have loyal friends who pray and petition on my behalf. I thank You for opening the door for extra loving care for my mother. May her last day here be filled with a peace that surpasses all understanding and a hope for her heavenly home. I lift those up to You who are caring for a loved one during an illness. Let them release any feelings of guilt or doubt they may have. I pray these things in the mighty name of Jesus Christ. Amen.
March Verse
“Let us give thanks to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! Because of his great mercy he gave us new life by raising Jesus Christ from death. This fills us with a living hope, and so we look forward to possessing the rich blessings that God keeps for his people. He keeps them for you in heaven, where they cannot decay or spoil or fade away.”—1 Peter 1:3-4 (GNT)
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