Heart of Compassion

“You are the people of God; he loved you and chose you for his own. So then, you must clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.”—Colossians 3:12 (GNT)

Difficult times are what help shape us. At least for me it has. God gave me a heart of compassion for others who are experiencing the death of a loved one. When my first husband died, the person I wanted to connect with the most was someone who had been pregnant when her husband had died whose children were grown.

I yearned to know that one day I would feel joy again. Did her children turn out okay? Did she remarry? If so, what was it like? I had so many questions that I wanted answered by someone who had walked in my shoes. 

Because I wasn’t ever able to find that person, I decided that I wanted to be that person for someone else. So, with the help of an organization called, Widowed Persons Service of Tarrant County,  I organized, led and facilitated a support group for younger widows/ers. I also shared my faith and grief journey in my first book, Widowed and Young. I dropped the ball in 2021 getting it back in print, but there is still time for me in 2022. If it is God’s will, He will carve out the time for me to do it. 

Which leads me to a prayer shawl I recently finished. I chose a pattern that was more intricate than what I normally make. I was told by two different people about a local woman whose husband died in a drowning accident in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico.

I had started about an inch of a shawl for a pattern I thought I might use in another book I am thinking about writing. However, when I heard about this woman whose husband recently died, I knew I needed to finish it for her. Because I chose a more difficult pattern, what I would have finished in a few days took me over a month. I was getting frustrated knitting it. It had a 10-row repeat. Three times when I got to row 9 my stitch count was off by 1 stitch. That meant, I had to tear out those 9 rows and start again. After 2 hours of not getting it right, I finally went to bed.

I woke up the next morning thinking about it. If you don’t knit, you may think, 1 stitch off isn’t a big deal but when you are doing a lace pattern, 1 stitch off can totally change the look of what you are making. During my prayer time, I was actually talking to God about my frustrations. I felt Him say, Lisa, she needs your prayers. This is giving you more time to intentionally pray for her.

When I picked it back up later that day, I couldn’t help but think of the irony of it. I was getting irritated that I had to keep tearing back my yarn, but it was nothing compared to how this recently widowed woman was feeling about her everyday life that had been ripped away from her. Her life unraveled right before her eyes while she helplessly saw her husband drown. I know that feeling.

Thankfully, as I knit a lace pattern, I use something called a lifeline. This enables me to not have to rip it all out and start over. I do not know for sure if the person receiving this shawl is a believer, but because of the lifeline I used as I knit it, I was praying for Jesus to be her and her children’s lifeline and life giver of love during this difficult time.

Not just that, as I am finishing up the shawl, I am struck at the stitch pattern, I picked…the overlapping wave stitch. What? Her husband dies from being swept in by a wave and I choose that stitch? What was I thinking? The definition of overlap is; to have something in common with. Do you see how God works? He chose for me to knit a shawl in that particular stitch without me seeing the significance of it until I started writing about it.

While I don’t typically take this long to complete a prayer shawl, God completed it in His prefect timing. It took that month for God to reveal to me why I choose that pattern as well as how He wove my experience into someone else’s. We both had a wave in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico drastically change our lives. I was the recipient of many intercessory prayers. Each time I had to tear out a row (which was A LOT), rather than get irritated, I embraced those extra prayers.

Jesus helped the hurting and had compassion for them. We are to do the same. While you may not be able to knit and weave prayers into a shawl as I do, there are other ways to minister to the bereaved. We all have the same opportunities to witness and give others hope. Prayer is something we can always do. Prayer may seem insignificant to the world, but not in God’s eyes. A quick email, message or comment on social media can let someone know you care and haven’t forgotten them.

The reality about the death of a loved one is, that once the funeral is over, friends and family members go back to their life and we are left with the empty space in our bed or at the table. It is always nice to know you haven’t been forgotten. I have a friend, who 27 years later stills sends me a text message on the anniversary date of my first husband’s death. Even though that day no longer impacts me as it used to, I cannot tell you how much that means to me.

Do you know someone who is still grieving the loss of a loved one? Have them over for dinner or bring them a meal to eat with them. Flowers are always nice too. You could bring them a small bouquet to brighten their day. God cares about hurting people. So should we.

Father God,

Forgive me when I miss an opportunity to minister to a hurt soul. I give You praise that You are able to use my past heartache to give another person hope. Thank You for helping me find my way during all of the trials I have faced. I praise You for Your amazing grace that freed me from being bound to my past and gave me new life. I lift those up to You who are grieving the death of a loved one. Wrap Your Loving arms around them. Give them glimmers of hope that their hearts won’t always feel so broken. It is in the name of Jesus that I pray these things. Amen

September Verse

This verse is still on my screen saver. I need it as a reminder as I step out in faith for my YouTube channel, Knit, Pray, Crochet.

“Keep alert. Be firm in your faith. Stay brave and strong.”—1 Corinthans 16:13 (CEV)

If you are knitting or crocheting gifts to give away, please make sure you tweet @KnitPrayShare or share your projects on the Knit, Pray, Share Facebook page or Instagram using the hashtag #KnitPrayShare. Be sure to attach a tag to whatever gift you make.