“Honor your father and mother. Then you will live a long, full life in the land the LORD your God is giving you.”—Exodus 20:12

God’s Word clearly tells us we are to honor our parents. Our earthly parents are never going to be perfect, and we need to give grace. I know that is not always easy to do…at least for me it is. Rather than respond in love, the enemy wants my heart to harden.

I have been sharing my struggles of trying to make sure my mother’s caregiving needs are being met. Praise God, she got out her Piic line this past week.  For two weeks, I was having to go to her assisted living every day to do her medicine for her. This was making it difficult for her to adjust. Last week, it showed all of her labs looked great, which meant I could cut back on my daily visits.

Up until now, I am not going to say I was in denial, but I wanted to believe that when the sepsis was gone and her sodium levels were normal, that she would cognitively bounce back to where she was before her first hospital stay. So far, this has not been the case.

Being my mom’s medical power of attorney was one reason we moved her closer to where I live. The other component came from a neurological evaluation she had. After it, the doctor asked her if she lived alone. When she told him she did, he told her to look him in the eyes, where he proceeded to tell her it was not safe for her live by herself. He went on to tell us that it was time to look into some type of assisted living. We were informed she had Alzheimer’s and it wasn’t the beginning stages.

Prior to my mom’s hospitalization, I will tell you that I was not very patient or tolerant with her. She can be a bit self-absorbed. With dementia, this has been magnified. There are periods of the day where she is more like her old self, but the mornings and evenings are when she is much more confused. I probably get 15-20 phone calls a day. This should get better once she adjusts to where she is.

As hard as it, I don’t answer every call. Many go to voicemail. I call her back if it is a quick answer. If she doesn’t leave a message, it is usually because the daggers are going to come out with some kind of verbal lashing. I will be perfectly honest; during these calls or visits when I am being talked to and treated in this manner, it has not been an easy task to honor my mother. Most times, I calmly explain to her what I and other family and friends have told her over and over; it is not safe for her to live alone.

Because of my history with my mother, I know that my calm (most of the time) responses are supernatural. There is no way I can respond to her erratic behavior in a loving way without the power of the Holy Spirit. Even my husband has commented on it. He knows how impatient I have been with her in the past.

It is not always easy to give the same grace we have been given. Dementia is a cruel disease. I can’t let my heart be hurt be what is being said. God generously forgives us. We are to do the same with others. We extend the forgiveness that was freely given to us. It comes from the heart. Of course, easier said than done.

Because Christ forgave us, we are called to do the same for those that offend us. Forgiven people forgive people. His grace is what saved us, not anything we did. Is there a difficult person in your life that you are having a hard time extending forgiveness? What can you do to lay the offense at the foot of the cross?

For me, it has been ALOT of prayer. When I lay my burdens at the foot of the cross, I need to nail them or I will pick them back up. Have I pried them loose a few times? Yes. Thankfully we serve a God of love, grace and mercy who knows our weak spots yet freely gives us the Holy Spirit to guide us when we seek Him in all we do.

Father God,

Forgive me when honoring my mother is not my natural instinct. Thank You for Your power within me that enables me to supernaturally respond in love not anger. I know when I take my gaze off of You during the storms, my actions will not be God honoring. You are almighty and all knowing. I lift those up to You, who are caring for loved ones who are sick. Refresh their weary souls. You are their stronghold. Let them feel Your presence in their day-to-day duties. I pray these things in the name of Jesus. Amen.

  April Verse

“He personally carried our sins in his body on the cross so that we can be dead to sin and live for what is right. By his wounds you are healed.”—1 Peter 2:24 (NLT)

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