This week I asked my daughter if she would guest blog to give her perspective of the past few weeks.
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus".—Philippians 4:6-7
It seems strange to think of denial as a gift from God, but these past few weeks that's exactly what God has given me. I have continuously been praying for peace and strength throughout this cancer diagnosis and God provided that to me by using denial as a coping method.
My mom wrote about how proud she was of me for being brave and having fun in the midst of everything with the "thyroid going away party." But really for me it was like a big joke. None of it seemed real, even when the resident surgeon was drawing an "X" on my neck it still wasn't hitting me. I was doing all of these things that needed to be done, but none of it was really affecting me.
As someone who has struggled with anxiety, this was a HUGE gift. Looking back, I don't know how I wasn't a nervous wreck. It was obviously all real and all actually happening to me, but I think God allowed me to fully trust in Him by providing me with the coping mechanism of denial rather than focusing on myself as I would have in an anxious state.
I thank God now for that gift of denial, however that period has come to an end. There is no denying the scar on my neck or the medications I will take for the rest of my life. But there is also no denying the presence of God throughout all of this. He provides us with what we need, and for me denial was just that.
He has been so faithful in providing for my family the past few weeks. We have had so much support and prayers from family, friends, and even complete strangers. We have gotten in with all the best doctors on dates that work with my complicated college schedule. It is impossible to deny His role in all of this. I also want to thank those of you that have been walking this journey with us. Your support and prayers have meant so much.