“A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.”—Proverbs 17:22
Are you the kind of person that brings joy and energy to a conversation or are you the “Debbie Downer” of the group? I don’t know about you, but I sure don’t want to be the person that sucks the life out of a room when I walk into it.
I heard a sermon a few years ago that asked, “is your life a fountain or drain?” Basically, are you a giver or a taker when you engage in conversations with others? Is it all about you or are you genuinely concerned about what the other person is saying? Am I a plus or a minus to someone in their life? Do people want to be around me? These are all questions I try to be conscious about when interacting with others.
Unfortunately, some people don’t want to be pulled out of their negativity. They would rather pull you down with them. Over the years, I have learned to limit the amount of time I spend with these people. Sadly, my mother can be one of them. With the progression of her Alzheimer's, many days this trait is magnified.
I will be honest, there are moments I lose patience when my mom’s negative attitude rears its ugly head. I know she isn’t in her right mind, but when she gets hyper focused on something, it is hard for her to snap out of it. I know I don’t always respond in the most loving way.
It’s as if I am dealing with a toddler. I try to redirect or change the topic. When she calls to complain, the result usually ends with her hanging up on me. It’s taken me 9 months, but now I know the times of the day to let phone calls rollover to voicemail. If she leaves a message that I feel like I need to respond to then I call her back. If she is calling to gripe about something she won’t leave me a message.
This past Thursday morning, when I was driving over to her apartment for a nurse visit, I was praying about what to write this week. God gave me the words from my post a few weeks ago, Positive Peace. I felt like those words were given to me to help me focus when things get negative with the upcoming elections. While I do need to lean into those words for that reason, God revealed to me another reason.
They are for me with my mother; to keep the peace with her, I must stay positive. Last year, my word was, ministry. I thought God was going to open the door for a new ministry opportunity. He did…with my mother. Again, my word for the year has taken on a whole new meaning.
Full transparency, I was dreading going to see my mom that morning. Her pessimism and drama the past week have been draining. However, by God revealing to me those two words, I was able to shift my focus. I knew that morning I was going to need to remain positive to keep the peace with her. When I arrived, she was wound up tight about something she thought happened in the dining room.
Through the power of the Holy Spirit, I was able to stay calm and not get sucked into her little world. In addition, the nurse was able to see her high anxiety and give some suggestions on how to manage them. God provided.
I know that it isn’t always easy to stay positive, however, what I found this week, despite me not feeling joyful in the moment, choosing to be a fountain overflowing with the love of Jesus, was the only way I was going to be able to keep the peace in a contentious moment.
As I was looking at other translations of Proverbs 17:22, the Good News Translation really struck me; “Being cheerful keeps you healthy. It is slow death to be gloomy all the time.” It is true. I read about a Harvard study that showed optimists live a longer life. We don’t need science to tell us this. We can read about it in the Bible. God’s words are what have been able to fill me with hope and peace, which hopefully spills over to those around me.
Father God,
Forgive me when I don’t lean into You in stressful situations. Only through the power of the Holy Spirit am I able to overflow with love and patience with those who aren’t always lovable. I lift those up to You who are struggling with having a cheerful heart. Open their eyes to where they can find some joy in their day…a beautiful sunrise or sunset, a kind word…something that will reveal to them Your love and that You see and hear them. I thank You for the Bible, our guide, where I can always find words of hope to encourage me on those difficult days. I pray these things in the name of Jesus. Amen.
January Verse
“It is truly wonderful when the people of God live together in peace.” —Psalm 133:1 (CEV)
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