“Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.”—Ephesians 4:2 (NLT)
True transparency; the past few weeks living out Ephesians 4:2 has not been easy to do with my mom. I can get the last part right, but the gentle and patient part has been a struggle.
Loving and being patient with difficult people isn’t always easy. Through the Holy Spirit, I am able to do what I can’t do on my own. Extending grace to challenging people isn’t easy. Reading scripture on how Jesus lived His life, helps me have compassion with her.
I love how God gives me the perfect scripture at the perfect time. Friday was a roller coaster day with my mom. As soon as I sat down to start my morning quiet time, my phone rang. It was my mom. She was flustered and confused. I tell her what I normally do, hung up and opened my devotional.
The scripture at the top of it was Numbers 6:24-26“May the LORD bless you and protect you.25 May the LORD smile on you and be gracious to you. 26 May the LORD show you his favor and give you his peace.” (NLT) This was the exact scripture I needed to stay grounded in my day. It gave me the needed peace to continue in my quiet time.
Things were great when I stopped by to see her that morning. She told me how much she loved me and what a good daughter I was. I sent one of my brothers a text and said, well, mom loves me right now and thinks I am a good daughter. That lasted all of 45 minutes. She called my brother crying that I never come to see her and when I do all I do is yell at her and am mean to her.
With someone with Alzheimer’s you can’t take what they say personally. Her anger toward me got worse as the day went on. For my own mental health, I screen her phone calls. On this particular day, I received 39 phone calls. I don’t think it will surprise you that the few times I did answer the phone, I probably didn’t come across as gentle and patient with her.
I have a sweet sister in Christ who reminds me to give myself grace in this area of my life. I am getting better at doing that. I know Her mind isn’t right, so I show my love the best way I can. I make sure her needs are met, but also limit my time with her on my daily visits. Thankfully, the scripture from Numbers that morning helped me keep my focus and peace intact.
Filling our minds with biblical truths are what strengthen and equip us so we don’t get discouraged on the days that aren’t so sunny. It redirects our focus to the One who sustains us in our troubles. It lightens the load that He wants to carry. Being mindful of His presence on the good days, helps me to give Him praise on the more challenging ones.
On Friday, the enemy wanted me to focus on the seemingly never-ending phone calls. However, God has provided a safe and loving environment where she lives. For this I give God praise. When she starts to spiral or has sundowners, I have peace knowing she is being cared for by trained professionals. I live one day at a time, knowing God provides. Being filled with the spirit enables us to love others in ways that don’t always come naturally.
Father God,
Fill me with Your Spirit today displaying godly character with difficult people. Give me a heart to love as You do. I ask for a heavenly perspective in my circumstances. Use me as an encourager to give hope to those in similar situations. Thank You for providing me with the needed words and rest in You to rejuvenate my soul at the start of my day. It is the mighty name of Jesus I pray these things. Amen.
September Verse
“Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.”—Proverbs 16:24
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