“You go before me and follow me. You place your hand of blessing on my head.”—Psalm 139:5 (NLT)
On Friday, I drove to the Austin area to visit an assisted living near my brother’s home. During my 3 ½ hour car drive, I took the opportunity to focus on my blessings. God provided me with an enjoyable road trip. The weather was nice as well as very limited traffic. I could feel God’s presence with me.
As I have shared, my mother’s Alzheimer’s is progressing. Her current assisted living is no longer a good fit for her. She isn’t quite ready for their memory care. She would do better in a smaller environment with more individual attention.
My brother found one place near his house that might be more suitable but wanted me to visit it with him. I had reached out to one of my good friend’s whose mother-in-law is in a facility near him to see if it might be the same one. It wasn’t. She encouraged me to see it to compare to where my brother had visited.
After visiting the one, my brother asked if I wanted to check out the one my friend had recommended. I said, we can go over there, but I do think the place we just saw would be better for mom than where she is.
When we drove by it, he said, did you want to go in? I told him, no. I felt like the place we had just seen would work for her. As we went around the second round about to head home, I felt the Holy Spirit prick my heart. I told him, You know we should probably go back and look at it. My friend will ask and this way I can tell her we saw it.
Walking in, I had this feeling; this is it. It reminded me so much of where she is currently living but on a much smaller scale. We also liked the memory care set-up. Initially, I thought the memory care was where she needed to be at this complex. My brother didn’t agree. He thought it would be too much of a shock to move her from where she is straight to that.
Friday night I told him I would like to go back in the morning to visit both places. I wanted to go to the first place since the 2nd one was fresher in my mind. I got up a little earlier to spend some quiet time with God. I was praying, Lord, reveal to my brother and I where my mom would adjust to the best. My morning devotion had Psalm 139:5 in it: “You go before me and follow me. You place your hand of blessing on my head.”
God was reminding me that He has gone before us and is with us in this endeavor. His Hand is on us guiding us. When we went back to the first place, I had an unsettled feeling. I didn’t have peace.
At the second place that we almost passed over, we were welcomed in and after touring the memory care again and seeing some of the other residents in the assisted living side, I agreed with my brother. Mom wasn’t quite yet ready for the memory section.
On my car ride home, I spoke with my friend whose mother-in-law lived there. She reassured me that the assisted living portion with a higher level of care would be a better fit for my mom than the more advanced dementia area. AND…I forgot to mention the cardinals.
A few weeks ago, when my sister-in-law and I were discussing my mother’s chaotic behavior as well as the possibility of moving her closer to them, a cardinal started building a nest in a wreath on their front door. Whenever we have family problems and a cardinal appears, it reminds us of my father.
After I got home, I checked my text messages. My sister-in-law had sent the above photo along with this one below featuring 3 baby birds that had hatched. Like our family of 5, there was the male, female and 3 hatched baby chicks in the nest. Another gift from God of His omnipotence.
Resting in God’s presence that morning blessed me with His peace before I walked out the door. Peace is possible because Jesus is walking beside us. Awareness of His presence is what brings us an indescribable sense of calm.
In my unpredictable day, God is the one constant I have. He provides me the needed guidance and direction for my day. God will bless me with His presence, grace and love as I keep my eyes on Him. Since we belong to God, we are never separated from Him. He is always near me, even when I can’t sense it.
Rather than doubt because we can’t “feel” it, we trust His Word that He never leaves us or forsakes us. Yes, this is a difficult time with my mother, but I will get through it because I have God by my side (Deuteronomy 31:8). He is near. He isn’t watching from a distance.
While there currently isn’t a room available for my mother, I trust God. If this is truly where He wants her to live, it will all fall in place and one will open up for her in His perfect timing.
Father God,
Thank You that You are by my side. I know You are in control. Forgive me when I let the fear of the future take hold of my thoughts. Give me a heart to seek You more than finding a way for my problems to end. Thank You that despite my imperfections, You love me. You sent Your one and only Son, Jesus, to make atonement for all of our sins. Lead me to a place to rest and find peace in Your presence. I pray these things in the mighty name of Jesus Christ. Amen.
May Verse
“We thank you, O God! We give thanks because you are near. People everywhere tell of your wonderful deeds.”—Psalm 75:1 (NLT)
If you are knitting or crocheting gifts to give away, please make sure you tweet @KnitPrayShare or share your projects on the Knit, Pray, Share Facebook page or Instagram using the hashtag #KnitPrayShare. Be sure to attach a tag to whatever gift you make.