“Let me hear of your unfailing love each morning, for I am trusting you. Show me where to walk, for I give myself to you.”—Psalm 143:8 (NLT)
August 24th was one-year that my mom had moved away from me to be closer to one of my brothers. At the time, he had a flexible job where he was able to check on her every morning before work. Unexpectedly, he was forced to make a bit of a career change.
While not a bad thing, he no longer has the same flexibility. He went from seeing her every day to popping in over the weekend. Even though we have cameras in her room, it isn’t the same with the staff when they know you stop by regularly.
In the spring, care had started to go downhill as well as them telling us my mom needed a higher level of care than they could provide.Then the facility was bought out with new management. Before making any drastic changes, we decided to give them a chance. It was great for a few months, but now it is back to the way it was along with them hinting again about her needing a higher level of care.
My visit to her this past week was disturbing. They had her out of her room all night because she was slipping out of her bed. I understand that, but that is no excuse to leave her in a dirty diaper for 10 hours. They knew I was coming to visit in the morning, so you would think they would have spruced her up before I came. Needless to say, she is not being cared for as we would like.
Even though moving her back here could progress her disease, since my brother is no longer able to be as hands on as he had been, he feels as if it is time for her to be back closer to me. Especially, if we get a notice that that her facility can no longer keep her safe. I was told they have to report falls to the state and the state could tell them she can no longer live there.
In order to prepare for the possibility, I spent a day touring multiple memory care facilities. At this point, I don’t know where or if we will be moving her. I pray for guidance and clarity for our family in making the right decision. I just want her end days to be somewhere where she will be paid attention to more than where she is now.
She has been on hospice since March. The reality is that she may not be here much longer. Only God knows the day she will take her last breath. She isn’t the same person that we moved a little over a year ago. She has become sweet and loving as well as appreciative when she sees me now.
I recently read a devotion that suggested to get into the habit of saying, I trust You Jesus, as a response to life circumstances. This has really been helping me with all of this. I receive a heart at peace when I trust God with the outcome. Peace isn’t about knowing God’s plan. It is knowing God is with us in it.
Not only does it draw me closer to Him, but it also strengthens my relationship with Him as well. One of the most valuable things we have is our trust in God. Knowing God is how we get through each day.
Father God,
Forgive me when I hold tight to my troubles rather than laying them in Your sovereign hands. Help me to trust You and Your promises. Trusting You fills my heart with peace. I ask for guidance and clarity for our family on where my mom will receive the most love and care. I lift those up to You who are having to make the difficult decision of finding placement for a loved one in a care facility. May they find comfort during this season. I pray these things in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.
September Verse
“The LORD your God is in your midst, A victorious warrior. He will rejoice over you with joy, He will be quiet in His love, He will rejoice over you with shouts of joy.”—Zephaniah 3:17 (NASB)
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