“Always be joyful and never stop praying. Whatever happens, keep thanking God because of Jesus Christ. This is what God wants you to do.”—1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (CEV)
The day before Easter, I had someone reach out to me for clarification on a pattern. It was a pattern that I was actually getting ready to knit as a gift. When I went to the book, what she had asked me was a matter of explanation but as I read on, I realized that there was a mistake on a different part of the pattern.
I would like to say I seamlessly dealt with this; however, my initial reaction was stress, embarrassment and feeling like a failure. Isn’t that just like the devil to creep into where he knows my weakness is to do his best to distract me from the goodness all around me? I let it throw me off course and dwelled on negative thoughts.
We live in a world that strives for perfection and this is a definitely a struggle of mine. I wish I could tell you that I went to God in prayer and gave him all of my cares and worries, but I didn’t. I was having anxiety over it and was obviously in distress about it because my husband asked what was wrong. I told him, “someone emailed me a question about the pattern, and I found a mistake.” My 24-year old daughter calmly said, “well there is nothing you can do about it now. You can just put a tab on your website that says, “pattern corrections.” (if you have a copy of the book, please make note of the change on page 35😊)
I was thankful for some voice of reason, because I was not thinking clearly. In all honesty, one of the things that kept me from pursuing Knit, Pray, Share was having patterns that might have mistakes. Pattern writing is not my strong point. My original book was only 12 patterns, which I felt confident about, so when the publisher asked for 50 patterns, I was a bit nervous. Despite my fear, I felt God clearly calling me to write the new version, so I stepped out in faith and obedience. When I found out that the publisher had someone that is a “master knitter” as the editor for the pattern portion of the book, I was relieved. However, like me, she also missed the error.
I went back and forth for two days, from giving it to God to letting shame hang over my shoulders. I let the enemy turn my focus on myself rather than sees things through the Lord’s perspective. I was so worked up that I couldn’t hear His voice. When I finally released it to God, I clearly felt Him impress two things on my heart.
First, I felt God say, Lisa, if this had not happened, you wouldn’t have this devotion to write. Someone reading this needs to be reminded that I don’t demand perfection but desire a willing and obedient heart. I know the important thing is that despite my apprehensions, I stepped out in obedience to share the love of Jesus through my hands and heart. That hasn’t changed.
Second, God clearly told me, the patterns weren’t the purpose. Knit, Pray, Share is a book about loving like Jesus to start some kind of knitting movement. It gives ideas on how we can be more intentional to let others know that they matter. The patterns along with a short devotion are meant to inspire what kind of gift you can make for someone to let them know you notice them and God loves them.
Rather than focus on what I achieved through my faith and trust in God on this journey, I focused on 2 short imperfect lines in my book. I know perfection is not realistic and that is an area in my life where I have really grown. However, because I am human, there are times when something will trigger me to fall back into old unhealthy habits….my misconception that everything has to be flawless to be able to make a difference.
Was it worth the risk, knowing that the book might not be “perfect?” Absolutely. Not only have I met new friends in the fiber community, but it has also deepened my faith, knowing that God is with me and He will not ever leave me or forsake. Nobody can fulfill God’s purpose when they put unrealistic expectations on themselves. If God doesn’t expect faultlessness from me, why do I?
Have you found yourself in a place where you have slipped back into some bad habits that you know are drawing you away from God? Are you beating yourself up playing the game of would have, could have or should have? Don’t fall for the enemy’s tactics of shame as I did and let them become a stronghold in your mind. God calls imperfect people to fulfill His plans for His Kingdom.
Our online church worship yesterday played a song that I hadn’t heard before called, Graves into Gardens.” The words, I'm not afraid to show You my weakness ,my failures and flaws, Lord, You've seen them all and You still call me friend,” was the affirmation I needed to finish writing this post. Jesus is my friend despite my failures and flaws. Fix your eyes on Jesus not your imperfections . God loves us and even in our weak moments, He doesn’t disqualify us from His Kingdom. Praise God for His grace and mercy!
Dear Lord,
I know on my own that I can not be joyful and find peace in all I do. Help me to find constant joy in You and give You all of my worries as soon as they creep into my head. I trust You and thank You that You do not demand perfection. I am thankful that You can use my mistakes to help others. Help me to focus on the here and now, not the past. When I let unhealthy habits create self-doubt, I praise You that You love me enough to deliver me from my negative thinking. It is in the name of Jesus that I pray these things. Amen.
April Memory Verse
“God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble.” —Psalm 46:1
Please make sure you tweet @KnitPrayShare or share your projects on the Knit, Pray, Share Facebook page or Instagram using the hashtag #KnitPrayShare. Be sure to attach a tag to whatever gift you make.