“You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.”—Psalm 56: 8 (NLT)
Last week I shared how it was the 25th anniversary of my first husband’s death. Some years, June 16th is just another day and other years I get weepy the days leading up to it. This year was one of those years. I am not sure if the trigger was the sudden tragic death of a friend’s daughter who was killed by a drunk driver on June 12th or that it has been 25 years.
It really doesn’t matter what caused those feelings because the reality is that I won’t ever forget that day. How could I? My life was drastically changed in a matter of minutes. It doesn’t define me. It is a part of who I am. I think that maybe sometimes, God brings that day to mind because it is also a reminder of where I was, where I am now and how much I need Him. God was with me on the beach that day in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico and He is still with me now, but sometimes I forget and that is when He sends me little gifts, which I call, “Hugs from Heaven.”
I love cardinals. God seems to send them when I am praying about something that is heavy on my mind. Last month as I was asking God for clarity on whether or not something presented to me was His will, He sent a male and female cardinal to my back porch where they were attempting to nest.
At first, I questioned if I was hearing Him right or not, but every time, I would ask if this was God ordained or not, a cardinal would show up outside my window. This happened for about a week. It gave me peace and I knew God was telling me I was going in the right direction. Once I had that inner calm, the birds were gone.
Like I mentioned earlier, I had been a little emotional the days leading up to June 16th. However, when I was saying my morning prayers on June 15th, guess who is back on my patio attempting to nest again…the cardinals!. As I sat down to type this Hug from Heaven post, a male cardinal landed on the table outside my patio door. It made me cry. God is so sweet. He knows how I feel about the cardinals and sent them back to me to let me know He saw my tears and He was with me.
God kept those two cardinals on my patio all day both of those days and then they were gone. They haven’t been back to try and nest since June 16th. What a caring and loving God we have. I didn’t ask for a sign, but He knew the comfort those birds would bring me each time I saw them outside my window. Some days, I just need a reminder from my Heavenly Father that He knows my struggles and that He is there with me every second of the day.
Does God ever send you hugs from Heaven when your soul is weary or not at peace? It isn’t always a cardinal for me. Some days, it might be through the words of a song, a friend or directly from scripture. Several years ago on June 16th, I was trying to keep myself busy and ignore what day it was. However, God chose to speak to me through not one but two songs during a yoga class. This was not a teacher whose class I had ever taken. During this class, I heard two songs from my wedding. First, I hear, “When a Man Loves a Woman” (our wedding dance song). Of course, tears filled me eyes as I was brought back to that day. When I finally got it together, “Don’t Know Much” (the slide show song) played. I was thankful it was a dark room and I didn’t know anyone, because I was pretty emotional. It was as if God was saying to me, “I know others may have forgotten what day today is, but I haven’t.” That was the hug from Heaven that I needed on that day.
Can any of you relate to trying to keep yourself busy so you don’t have to think or confront emotions that you are trying to stuff down? If God keeps bringing them up that is because He wants you to feel them. Trust me, after 25 years, I couldn’t believe I was so emotional this past week. It bothered me that I was. I have been happily remarried for nearly 20 years. I thought, what is wrong with me? Isn’t that just want the enemy wants? He wants me to feel embarrassed.
Why am I crying? What are people going to think? How can you give someone hope when you are crying after 25 years? These were all thoughts that crossed my mind, but God impressed on my heart that I needed to share those feelings so that others might be encouraged when the same thing happens to them. If God has stored my tears from that day, that means He hasn’t forgotten, and He doesn’t ever want me to forget how my hope in Jesus, saved me from that deep dark pit of despair. This is how I can give hope to others in similar circumstances. It is okay if someone’s pain triggers sorrow from years past. It is okay to cry along with them. If You will let Him, God can use your past hurts to help heal someone else’s.
Dear Lord,
Thank You that You keep track of all of my sorrows and store my tears in a bottle. I praise You for the creative ways You are able to comfort those that seek You when they feel lost, lonely, empty and sad. Help me to see others sorrow as You do and not judge them when they have setbacks. I ask that You wrap Your Loving Arms around whoever is reading this that needs a hug from Heaven right now. It is in the name of Jesus that I pray these things. Amen.
June Memory Verse
“Give us today our daily bread.”—Matthew 6:11
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